Is this it?
Is that all?
These are just some of the questions you may find yourself asking when (or if) multiple sclerosis takes you away from something you love.
Your job. Your favorite activity. Hobby. Passion. Whatever.
It happens. And it sucks.
You feel defeated.
Like a pitcher in baseball getting taken out of the game.
Only difference is he gets to come back and try again the next day.
You and I with MS? Not so much.
I stepped away from the working world years ago. One might assume by now I would have adjusted, filling the void, ya know.
But still there are days I struggle. Struggle finding something of purpose to do. Something to occupy my mind. To burn nervous energy. And to take up the time.
I do what I can but you can only clean the bathroom so often. Swiffer the kitchen floor, maybe.
There’s gotta be something more, right?
I write this silly rag for something to do. It’s fun (and cheaper than therapy) but I continue to have a yearning for what’s next.
(The Funny Meter is about to blow on this post!)
A feeling of emptiness is the part of MS acceptance I scuffle with the most.
As I said before, it’s not every day. Just once in a while.
But when it hits–it’s like banging that particular spot of your elbow on a corner.
Dang, it hurts!
Have you shared this particular MS experience? Have you asked similar questions?
Most importantly, what’s the answer?
How do you respond when your inner-self asks “Is this it?”